Can’t Breathe Well (Poem)

I can’t breathe well
Gasping, sipping the airs
Forever drowning
Under the weight of myself
all of my mistakes
And a cloud of vapor

I can’t store enough
Before it’s expensed
And I’m left needing some more
Always wanting more
Piled upon and suffocating
The anxiety comes on
I can’t move, not for lack of trying

Restricted and panting
Dear God I can’t get a breath
Fear swallows my strength whole
And I just lay here crying

It’s a glimpse of hell to drown
The certainty of loneliness
The complete lack of power
The inability to even ask for help
Sinking into a cold canopy of beautiful

Merciless is the water
It simply goes where it can
Where your courage failed you
It inhabits the empty spaces
Flooding the vacant corners
Rushing into openness
It fills rooms uninvited when doors ajar

It will conquer and collapse
And your blood will writhe
And your mind fade
And your heart go frantic
And your words fail
and your eyes are covered
And your legs twitch
And you see the dark
Crush over the lighted surface

Gone is the struggle
with it your spark